sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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