I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
