it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize