dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
