Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
