I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
