I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's always time for handjobs
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
