I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
