if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
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I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize