Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
