Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
