he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
