he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
