you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
