And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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