Moan for me like Helen Keller
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
