My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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