i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
