she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
