you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
try to milk me bitch
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