Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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