ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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