I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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