Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm passing your future prison.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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