If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
