i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
