I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
