Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
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Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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