Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
