I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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