The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
