i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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