Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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