Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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