My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Swine flu is the new snow day.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
