i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
