Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
