Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
