She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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