The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
