So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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