Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
