Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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