vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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