I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize