Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
