dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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