Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
