he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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