I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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