rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
