she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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