I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
