What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
