The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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