I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
