Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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