YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
