I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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