Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
it was like eating out sand paper
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
