I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
