he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i've created a new STD.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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