There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
