i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
